May 19, 2009

Doa mengiringi saudara² di Palestin

Kredit kepada Rush Murad di Flickr

Ya Allah, ya Tuhanku... naluri ibuku begitu tersentuh melihat gambar di atas dan juga asyik memutar lagu di bawah berulang-kali tanpa jemu. Setiap kali ulang lagu ini juga, air mata mengalir dengan begitu pantas.



Lirik lagu tersebut adalah berdasarkan kepada sebuah hadis Rasulullah s.a.w. seperti berikut:

Maksud hadith:
Akan sentiasa ada wujud sekumpulan dari umatku yang terus menegakkan kebenaran dan tegas mendepani musuh. Tidak memudaratkan perjuangan mereka walau dipinggirkan dan dirintangi kesusahan kecuali ujian (Ilahi) sehinggalah datang ketentuan Allah. Mereka akan tetap sedemikian.

Sahabat bertanya "Di mana mereka itu?"
Baginda menjawab "Mereka berada di Baitul Maqdis dan di kawasan sekitarnya"

Hadith ini diriwayatkan oleh Abdullah ibn Ahmad dalam Musnad Ahmad, dan al-Haithami dalam Zawaidnya telah memberikan komentar : "Hadith ini diriwayatkan oleh Abdullah Bin Ahmad (anak Imam Ahmad Bin Hanbal) dan juga al-Tabrani, dan perawinya adalah orang-orang yang thiqah (dipercayai)".



Ia disampaikan oleh saudara Muadz bin Dzulkefly (anak MP Kuala Selangor).


Wahai Adam, Mastura dan Syafiah
Semoga kalian menjadi sekental anak² Palestin
Adakalanya mempertahankan negara mereka
berbekalkan hanya seketul batu..
InsyaAllah wahai anak²ku..
Ibu pasti mendidik kalian ke jalan pejuang² agung
Moga Allah sentiasa memudahkan
dan memberikan petunjuk kepada kita semua..
Moga Allah akan sentiasa membimbing ibu ke arah itu..
Moga Dia tidak membenarkan ibu sendirian..
Moga Dia tidak membutakan hati kita semua..
Ameen...

Al-Fatihah untuk semua pejuang agama.. hanya doa yang mampu kukirimkan buat kalian

Rakan 'gelap'

Bunyi entry ni lain macam je kan. Macam rakan kongsi gelap. Saya baru perasan entry saya pagi ini - '24 hours to live...' tidak difeed langsung ke mana² laman blog kecuali yang pakai wordpress. Kenapa ye? Entah la... rss pun dah nyampah tengok kami kot!

Di mana² sekali pun rakan² akan datang dan pergi seperti touch-n-go. Nilai persahabatan yang dihulurkan macam tiada nilainya. Di alam realiti malah di alam maya. Di sini juga saya melihat trendnya begitu. Datang dan pergi tanpa menyapa. Sedangkan adakalanya saya juga mahu mengenali malah mungkin boleh bersahabat dengan anda. Tak tinggal jejak macamana kita nak berkawan? Ada juga yang telah sampai ke tahap berborak di alam realiti tapi hilang entah ke mana. Saya bersangka baik saja. Tak sudi tak pelah...

Tapi cerita saya ni saya nak fokuskan pada seseorang yang saya kenal melalui alam blog ni. Anggap saja dia sebagai 'rakan gelap'. Saya tak tahulah dia gelap ke idak sebab kami tidak pernah bertemu. Kenapa rakan gelap? Sebab dia tu lelaki. URL blognya yang mana satu, biar saja saya rahsiakan. Saya tak ingat kami kenal di mana. Tapi yang pasti bukan di blog Syafiah. Mungkin di Tangan Yang Menghayun Buaian.. isk di mana tu saya tak ingat langsung lah.

Kami berkawan baik atas satu peristiwa. Makin lama makin baik. Suami tahu tentang hal ini. Malah di zaman saya bekerja dulu pun memang saya ramai rakan sekerja lelaki. Satu team kami, saya saja yang perempuan. Begitu juga dengan suami, kebanyakan orang di tempat kerjanya adalah perempuan. Jadi pengalaman kami terbalik. Kadang² saya pulang lewat, keluar dan bermesyuarat bersama rakan sekerja mahu pun bos. Bos saya tu pun masih rapat dengan saya, masih menghubungi saya hingga ke hari ini. Zaman sekolah dulu pun serupa juga.

Sejak saya logged in satu malam tu dan lepak dalam Gmail sebab nak transfer gambar kami, dia menyapa saya. Sesiapa yang pakai Gmail boleh chat kalau ada akaun Gmail. Senarai kawan saya dalam Gmail dalam tu bukannya ramai sangat. Dia, Aubrey dan bebaru ni saya jemput Anasfadilah pun dia tak terima lagi (aduhhh... apa la nasib).

Borak punya borak tak sedar langsung mengheret ke pukul 11 malam. Dia ngantuk, saya pun sama jugak. Kekadang cik suami datang bawak 1 mug air panas. Spotcheck ke kata dia? Hahaha... taklah... saya telus. Apa kami sembang, siapa kawan saya akan jadi kawan suami juga. Jeles? Tak da maknanya nak cari musuh, baik saya berkawan dengan kawan² cik suami, baik cik suami berkawan dengan kawan² saya. Dapat juga tambah network.

Borak² pun berhenti. Bahasa pun gua-lu, ko-aku je. Dia tahu saya berjiwa rock, saya pula tahu dia ada girlfriend. Even girlfriend dia pun pernah komen dalam blog ni. Muda pun lagi mamat ni. Lebih kurang baya cik suami. Dia bagi no. telefon. Dulu pun pernah bagi dalam mail tapi terpadam la pulak mail tu. Dia bagi no. tepon bukannya apa sebab dia pernah offer servis pergigian percuma pada kami sekeluarga. Ingat janji Tuhan? Buat 1 dapat 10, insyaAllah. Tapi saya tak de la niat nak buat apa pun pada gigi² saya ni... malu aahhhh! Akan datang ni tak tahulah. Servis tu nanti bukan dia yang buat pun, tapi girlfriend dia.

Sejak dia tahu no. tepon saya tu tiap² hari mesti ada sekali dia sms saya. Banyak kali tanya pasal Syafiah, ada jugak cakap dia malas nak ke tempat kerja, kadang ajak online. Kira macam tempat luahkan perasaan dia la. Macam adik dengan kakak. Broadband yang saya pakai ni adalah broadband dia. Of course la saya yang bayar tapi ada diskaun sikitlah. Diskaun kawan²... huhu!

Saya pun tak reti nak klasifikasikan hubungan kami ni macamana. Tapi agak pelik jugalah. Saya tak kata yang pelik itu adalah fishy. Macam ada agenda tersembunyi. Bukan macam tu. Ye la... nak menambahkan perisa lagi, blog TYMB saya tu sama pula tarikh lahirnya dengan blog dia.

Saya melihat perkara ni sebagai kuasa Allah swt. Menemukan manusia yang saling tidak mengenali boleh rapat tapi tidak melampaui batas. Saya anggap dia macam sahabat saya yang lain. Cuma bezanya dia hubungi saya setiap hari. Tanya khabar saya, suami dan anak². Sahabat yang prihatin. Tahu apa yang saya lalui dan cuba memahaminya.

Tapi tak la pula macam cik suami yang paling memahami keadaan saya di dunia ni. Tulang belakang saya tu... menerima saya seadanya saya. Cik suami pun dulu asalnya sahabat saya juga. Sedar tak sedar sekarang ni dah nak akhir Jamadilawal, kemudian Jamadilakhir dan tibalah Rejab. Rejab ni cukuplah usia perkahwinan kami yang ke-6 tahun dengan 3 orang anak. Sasaran? Kalau boleh nak 7, itu cerita 'kalau'... :D

Cakap pasal bulan² Islam ni teringat pula saya masih tak ganti puasa... aduhhh! Tahun lepas je kena ganti, tahun sebelum tu takyah sebab mengandunglah, period berhenti masa bulan puasalah (pandai period ni).

Jadi kawan²... 2 soalan:
1. Adakah anda mempunyai rakan cyber yang baik?
2. Adakah anda telah gantikan puasa anda?

24 hours to live...


She has only 24 hours to live. The future was uncertain. The world was gloomy and suddenly turned to nowhere to go. I was not ready for a life long battle. Indeed, it was one of the saddest days in our lives.

She was a healthy baby in the womb. We, and even my gynae, could not predict that she'd born as a preterm baby. Even worst, we did not know her gender until she was born (her positions varies everytime we 'looked' at her). Everything was ok and everything happened so fast too! This journey was and is actually her destiny! She chose to be the one.

On that particular day, specifically on Wednesday, 16 January 2008, I received a phone call from HSB around 3 pm, required me to be in NICU immediately. The nurse who called me spoke gently and called me twice. I said I've to wait for my husband. My husband came back around 4.30 pm and immediately brought me to the hospital. I was resting at home alone. Mom was in Mekah, MIL took care of my kids at her house.

At NICU, one of the nurses came and took my blood. I was really calm. Dr. S came to us and asked us to sit on a sofa at one corner nearby the pantry. We waited. Then about half an hour she came again and explained what's going on with our daughter. I did not cry just yet!

I was so emotional when I looked at her condition. I could remember her chubby cheeks the first day she was born, turned to be so skinny. Pale. Almost no blood at all. Wires and drugs were everywhere to be seen. And not to forget the breathing support machine too. No reaction at all.

There were several complications. She stopped to breath (apnea), lungs hemorrhage (one of the vessels in her lung suddenly exploded) and when she lost her blood, meaning she lost the oxygen too. The oxygen is significant for all body parts especially the brain. Consequently, it led to a brain injury called intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH). As a result of this condition, her CSF couldn't be absorbed naturally as the blood clot has obstructed the channel.

I tried to control my emotion as much as I could as I knew that she'd feel the same way too. Dr. S came to me and pat on my shoulder trying to console me. I knew that I've to be strong and showed her how much we supported for her to continue living. Once in a while I would cry quietly - in the pantry while breast pumping, in the waiting room but it must be not in front of her. I tried to justify on what should I do next and what would happen to our lives in future.

I could not stay in HSB that night as the bed was full. To rest, me and my husband would stay for a while in the waiting room. Dr IH, the head allowed us to be in HSB for unlimited period and he even spoke to the guard to let us in whenever we liked to be in. He said to the guard that our daughter was in a critical condition.

I entered and exited NICU many times. At one time around 9 pm, we met Dr IH when he was checking and examining Syafiah. He explained that in next 24 hours was a very crucial period. That she might only have 24 hours to live. They have to monitor her very closely. I also noticed that he set the breathing machine to the max. He said it was necessary since her lungs was very weak after the complications but at the same time, he was afraid of the consequence, the lungs might collapse! If it was collapsed then there's nothing more that they and we could do.

I waited and prayed all the time. Deep inside my heart I was badly hurt. I was helpless as I could not perform Hajat prayer and could not recite Quran too (more to calm myself down), mom was unreachable, only left my husband and God to turn myself to. We returned home on 12 am with heavy hearts. If I stay, I could not rest properly, if I go home, I would leave our daughter there. But even if I stay, there's nothing much I could do except for waiting and watching her (plus doa continuously). We left it for Allah swt to take care of her.

When she survived that night I realized that she could make it and survive another night. I knew that she has the determination to continue and fight for her life. To see her determination, it has lifted my spirit up. I must be strong for her and I should not be defeated by a small baby who is a tough fighter. She herself is a miracle sent by God to us.

I'm glad today that I did that for Syafiah. We've been through one of the saddest days in our lives and we wish a future full of joy and miracles ahead! InsyaAllah.. ameen...




I wrote an entry yesterday and deleted it few minutes after that. If you guys have read it, please forgive me for showing my stupidity (again and again!).

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