Oct 28, 2008

I'll be leaving you.....

...of course lah, for a while!

Nephew - Adi Luqman, age - 5 mo. He's so so so cute!!

I'll be on hiatus mode starting tomorrow until next week. We'll be on a 'holiday'.

This is where we'll be going:

Huh... it'll be a looooonnnnggggg holiday as I know how was it like to be in there. I wish I have a lappy but I don't... sigh! I can imagine - mags, soduku, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat more, etc.

We'll be separated again. 2 other kids are with my MIL. Yeppp... I already missed them. Hukhukhuk! I cried. I'm not mentally ready!! I'm hurt!! Not that strong... My faith is shaking!

But what can we do? "Apa yang ke depan ni, kita redah je la...". Although, it is simple to say to myself every now and then, "Sabarlah", "Redhalah", "Pasrahlah", "Berserahlah"... the truth is it's not that simple. Whenever there's a new patient plus his/her parents and visitors in that room, I have to explain again and again from the very beginning on what happened to my daughter and that bleeds my heart!

Somehow I just want to be quiet, have space for both of us. I prefer those people especially the makcik² @ pakcik² not to ask about her as it would remind me of those days when I've to get through the fact that she's an 'extraordinary' girl. If they don't ask, I will stand strong, my tears won't fall down (not at that particular moment lah! Later, when I'm alone..), my heart won't bleed...

But how on earth to avoid the 'busybody' questions? Then you know lah... sometimes I could hear the sound of soksek² with the families. Arghhhhhh... they don't blog. If they blog, they just can click on her name to know the story. Story that I don't have to repeat again and again... I know.. I know.. be positive! They are just caring!

I shall miss this blog and all of you! Until I see you guys later!

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