Happy birthday...

It's my darling birthday today. The 30th. When asked on what he likes on his birthday, he said, "Nothing". A very typical HIM. I knew he meant it. How I wish I could travel alone with him without kids to the east side of the country by train. Just be the backpackers. Most likely for an unplanned trip. That would be a perfect birthday and even an anniversary gift. When? I don't know yet.

Him yesterday at Taman Pertanian Malaysia, Bukit Cahaya Seri Alam, Shah Alam, Selangor:

I see so much LOVE between a daddy and his daughter in this picture.

To my darling, thank you for being there for me in time of up and down. Thank you for being a super spouse and super parent indeed!

Happy 4th Birthday, Adam

I was trying very hard to locate his pictures. Haven't been active in my friendster for so long. Need to get the photos from there and Awa's friendster.

Happy birthday to my sweetheart, Adam. Kejayaan dunia tidak akan bermakna tanpa kejayaan akhirat. Bukan... bukan berapa banyak A yang ibu harapkan darimu, wahai anak. Sungguh pun begitu, ibu tidak menolak sekiranya anak ibu memang ditakdirkan kelak menjadi anak yang cerdik. Ibu hanya mengharapkan moga anak ibu akan menjadi insan yang soleh, bertakwa, supaya menjadi orang kaya yang beriman (kaya dunia dan akhirat) dan membarisi barisan hadapan dalam mempertahankan Islam kelak, insyaAllah. Ameen.

Fakta tentang Adam:

Nama penuh : Adam
Tarikh lahir : 28 Disember 2005, 27 Zulkaedah 1426 Hijrah
Berat ketika lahir : 2.8 kg
Waktu kelahiran : 9.02 pagi Rabu (30 minit sebelum tu sempat ke pejabat menyiapkan kerja)
Tempat lahir : DEMC
O & G : Doktor Zamri Abd Rahim

Selamat hari lahir, Bonda....

Hari ini 17 Disember 2009, genap usia Bonda 66 tahun mengikut kalendar Masihi. Moga Bonda terus sihat dan dilimpahi keberkatan dalam kehidupan.

Tiada hadiah istimewa. Tak fikir pun lagi. Tiba² teringat sebab terpandang skrin handphone (teruknya anak!). Entah bila mak nak kemari. Jika datang, bolehlah kami (saya dan adik) meraikan mak di sini. Allah... terkenang mak, terkenang jugalah ayah. Rindu....

Entry yang terlewat & Selamat Hari Lahir, Mirah

Hari Jumaat lepas hari kelahiran saya. Pagi tu cik suamiku wat kejutan la pulak. Tak pasal daku menitiskan air mata. Benda kecil tapi sangat² menyentuh rasa. Dan ya.. saya tak memerlukan kejutan yang besar untuk si dia mengingati saya. Kecil pun cukuplah..

Dapat benda² di bawah. Terasa diri seperti muda semula:

It's short but sweet
It's old but new
It's from the heart -
It's meant for you!
(kat bawah sekali si dia tulis - Happy Birthday Sayang)

2 in 1. Bleh boh duit + handphone. Saya memang suka dompet yang simple. Looks childish but I like. Bio la si dia treat daku cam budak² pun tak pe. He knows that I love brown.


Malam tu pergi makan kat luar. Mula ingat nak pergi berdua je. Pergi tempat jauh sket. Tapi malas la plak. Makcik tak kesah pun.. Janji luang masa berkualiti bersama.


Gambar ni Adam ambil buat kali pertama. Punya seronoknya dia saya izinkan pegang cellphone sampai dia lupa nak makan.


Oh! Ini gambar semalam. Tetiba je dia cakap nak solat. Masa ni waktu Maghrib kalo tak salah. Terpana makcik. Seb baik la makcik tengah angkat bendera Perancis. Sangat² adorable..

Oh ye.. sebelum terlupa saya nak wish Happy Birthday to Mirah. Sahabat dan tetamu blog saya yang tegar. Thanks for being so supportive. Moga Allah swt memanjangkan usia dalam keberkatan dan rahmatNya.

Lost and found in July..

It's about 4.10 am on Monday morning in a village where there's no electricity 31 years ago. We just had the kerosene lamp in the house.

Mom hadn't told me the details of my birth but she told me that she had a retained placenta soon after I was being born. She had the chance to look at my hand, not my face before she collapsed. Later, villagers came to the house and brought her to the hospital which was about 20km from our home. She lost her blood heavily. Unconscious all the way to the hospital.

I couldn't remember anything as I was a baby. Mom said I was the heaviest kid, almost reached 4 kg. She admitted for one week and still weak. I stayed at the house while my adopted parents who were our neighbors and mom's friends kept coming to look after me. I even had my 'ibu susuan' and called her 'mak' and her husband 'ayah'. They were no longer alive these days. Both of them died in the same year with my own biological father. In fact, they were all best friends.

The day my adopted father died mom called me. It was Friday afternoon. She just said, "Ela, ayah Sam hang dah tak dak!". I knew my own dad and him were very sick at the same time. He passed away on 6th July 2001, while my dad followed him too 10 days after on Monday morning. It was silence and I could feel that mom was feeling so sad, the way I did. Not long after that I lost my adopted mom too. Within 100 days since my adopted father died.

I celebrated my birthday that year in sorrow. I felt (and still) so empty and lost. My sister who was born in the same month also felt the same way too. She was 15 and was a candidate for one of the major examinations in school. I didn't know how she managed to get through it. It must be hard for her.

But God has a better plan for me. He sent a soulmate to me when I lost all my loved ones. It wasn't a replacement as nobody could replace my parents but at least his existence had eased me a bit. He was the 1st to hear the news from my sister. He was there to console and talk to me. We just chatted. I talked a lot and he just listened. There's a day he sent me to Puduraya so that I could go home when my father was dying. He waited until I got up on the bus, lending me his sweater while he went home without it in the middle of the cold night.

Indeed, July means so much to me. No one could ever remove those sad memories when July comes every year. Month to be remembered a lot. Month of lost and found. Month that I was born (until jeopardizing my mom's life), lost so many people that I love and found my sweetheart.

It takes a lot of courages to go on. I just hope that future will bring me great deeds, great health, great life ahead, great husband and great children, insyaAllah. May He blesses us in our journey through life. Al-Fatihah for those who had gone to the next phase of life.

Some old pictures of them:


My dad and I. I loved to wear short pant when I was little. "I miss playing with you and talk to you, daddy".


My adopted father on left, Pak Lang in the middle, Pak Njang Imas on right (deceased too). Posing in front of my parents' bungalow.


My adopted mother on right, Nyai in the middle, hidden - my late grandmother. Mak Lang on the left. All have passed away except for Mak Lang.







p.s. : I'll usually wait until 4 am to wish myself a happy birthday. Berbisik dan bermuhasabah tentang apa yang telah dilakukan dan mengharapkan masa depan yang lebih baik. Well I don't expect for a surprise or present. But if you want to give, I'd prefer gadgets (no wonder la kan 2-3 hari ni dok ngidam gadgets especially White MacBook tu :P). Hahahah..

Adam naik kuda & gambar makan²

Tetiba jadi jeles plak tengok Adam naik kuda (gambar ambil di sini):


Gambar Adam dengan Achu tengah naik kuda di kawasan kediaman kami. 2 orang yang kat bawah tu kawan Achu. Dia orang datang ke rumah kami hujung minggu lepas untuk celeb birthday Achu. Dah 2 tahun dia orang wat gathering + tidur kat rumah ni bila adik saya sambut hari lahirnya.

Seronok tengok geng dia ni. Masih berhubung antara satu sama lain. Malah masih lepak sesama sendiri walau pun seorang dah kawen sementara yang lain² tu ada yang masih belajar dan baru mendapat kerja.

Oh ye.. siapa yang teringin naik kuda datanglah ke kawasan perumahan kami. Ada stable kuda. Malah ada kuda Agong lagi. Kekadang bila Agong free Baginda akan turun ke sini dan naik kuda Baginda setiap pagi Ahad. Satu sesi RM10. Adik saya dapat RM8/session you. Waktu sesi 4-6 petang (tapi adik special sket, dia naik sebelah pagi!). Saya sendiri belum pernah naik walau pun kecil² dulu pernah pasang niat nak bela kuda (maintenance dia mahal beb!). Boleh jugalah kalau nak belajar menunggang. Ada kelasnya.

Hari Sabtu sebelum sesi naik kuda pada pagi Ahad tu, ada acara makan² masa sambut kawan² adik:


Budak 2 orang yang rajin menolong di dapur. Mastura siap cakap, "Ibu, janganlah kacau kakak. Pergilah buat kerja lain". Duhhh!


Menu² wajib - laksa & kek. Adik kata kat suami dia, beli la besar sket. Boleh sambut birthday saya dan Mastura sekali. Tua dah rupanya daku!


Towkey ikan bawa banyak ikan sardin balik rumah. Tu kuah laksanya pekat sangat. I like! Sampai hari ni pun ada lagi.


Kek oren beli kat King's. Saya pun memang suka kek kat sini sebab rasa krim dia lebih light dan tekstur kek dia yang lembut.







Gambar cik Piah wajib letak sebab blog ni blog dia. Kami menumpang saja. Blog mak dia dah berabuk (tolonglah idea.. kembalilah!):



Moral - treasurelah friendship anda dan rakan² walau pun anda telah berkahwin. Saya bebaru ni pun terjumpa ramai rakan lama, terutamanya di Facebook. Nak add saya? Tak susah. Kat blog ni kan ada email saya. :P *tu pun kalo nak add la*.

Eating out and Sara's birthday..

Since I have no idea on what to write, but still insisting on writing an entry per day, let me share you photos of makan². Me and my husband are always finding time to sneak out together without our kids. Bab dating lepas kawen ni takleh buang beb. Here they are:


Perasan jadi Maria Tunku Sabri dalam JJCM. Sebenarnya memang terpengaruh dengan tempat ni lepas tengok JJCM tu. Lagi pun restorannya di Shah Alam kekdahnya. Tempat ni cozy. Sesuai untuk family atau berduaan dalam cahaya suram².. dengan bunyi²an alam. Apedaa daku mengarut ni?

Lepas pesan terus je dapat makanan yang tak dipesan cam ni.


Husband diet. Pesan aiskrim je.. *huh.. baik beli aiskrim sekotak kat Giant*


Saya pesan yang ini. Tah apa namanya.

But still couldn't beat char koay teow in banana leaf somewhere under the trees nearby Sunshine Square, Penang.

Or char koay teow 'kuboq' behind Caltex and graveyard in Parit Buntar town.

By the way, it's Sara's 23rd birthday today. Sara is my sister's nickname. She's now in our hometown to celebrate her birthday and would be back to our house this afternoon. Yeah.. she and her husband are staying with us. I'll put an entry about her later, insyaAllah.

p.s. : Parti 'liar' dengan kawan² dia still on this weekend.. kamera sapa pulak korang nak rembat cam tahun lepas? Meh daku jadi photographernya...

Down the memory lane..

I could still remember vividly what happened to me on one Friday afternoon like this 5 years ago. I had a terrible running nose and headache. My body ached. Even my feet were puffed-up. It had almost a week.

Suddenly I could feel a thick white liquid came out from my V. As usual, I wasn't panicked at all even though I was home alone. I got my cellphone and called my husband who was in the office. Later, I called my mom who was in kg to ask for her advise on what's going on with me. She said that it might be a signal.

I packed few of my clothes.

That evening after my husband returned from work, we headed to Shah Alam. In my heart, I was really hoping that I would feel it that night. No.. I didn't feel the pain at all. After eating pizza, we came back. I said to my husband that it's okay as we'd meet the gynae the next day.

So we met my gynae on Saturday as scheduled. My gynae told me that surprisingly my BP has gone up a bit. Maybe I was excited. Later I told him (I had the same gynae twice but then we changed gynae following my husband's advise) that I've this kinda signal on Friday - a white thick liquid. No.. it's not like that 'keputihan'. It's different.

He advised me to be admitted that day. We waited on a temporary bed at Level 3. We had lunch. There's nothing happened yet. Nurses came to check on me several times. They said that I've contraction but I didn't realize it until I went through the CTG test. The sound was fantastic, like a horse riding!

A nurse came to us on 4 pm. She asked me to consume a pill. After that, I felt that I wanted to poop. When I was in the bathroom, the water broke. That was the first time I felt the pain. The same nurse headed us to the labor room. They put on the drip and asked us to wait. She measured the opening length. It was 6 cm. One of them told us to find them whenever I wanted to poo poo again. And she also told me that my daughter might be born on 9 pm.

Not long after she was walking out the room, I felt I wanted to poo poo again. So my husband caught her and told her what I felt. She came back with my gynae. My gynae was supposed to meet his family somewhere in Bangi that he would like to watch a game with them. He wore a jersey shirt. When asked, he replied that he would rather see a newborn baby. He's really committed to his career. His assistant measured again. This time it was 10 cm.

After a short battle, I felt really exhausted. I was still having headache and running nose. In fact, I was having a fever. Her head circumference was very big too. My gynae decided to use the vacuum procedure. She was later born on 5.05 pm. Weight at about 3.4 kg.

A nurse put her on my chest without cleaning the blood. I touched her cheek with my finger. The feeling was indescribable. Like you're touching an angel. After that, they took her away for cleaning and first day Vit-K injection. She was in nursery until 9 pm when we asked the nurse to bring her to us.

Here are some old pictures. Sorry the photos are not clear. I've shot them again by my cellphone.

I was holding her for the first time


Mom was holding her on the 2nd day


Yo! Peaceeeeee....!


1 month old


2 months old at Awana Kijal


2 months old


Sket lagi dia boleh jadi anak Michelin


She is very closed to her daddy until now. When she was little, she loved to climb on daddy's laps to sleep. She was fully BF.. tengok la pipi dia yang berketul tu

I remember how I really loved to eat Italian foods, drink coffee and eat bread when I was conceiving her. Like always, I haven't planned to do anything for her today except I asked her daddy to bring back slices of cake for both of them. Nantilah insyaAllah ada rezeki kita orang bawak dia gi jenjalan hujung minggu ni. Oh.. before I forgot, I won't be able to attend to MSK gath. Sorry... saya ni jenis tak suka gathering.. aci dak? Lagi pun tak tahu lagi. Mungkin nak ke satu event pada sebelah malamnya, wallahu'alam.

I just hope and pray that she'd turn to be an amazing individual without forgetting who she is, where she came from and what's the purpose for her to live in this world, ameen. Happy 5th birthday, Mastura. We love you always and so glad that Allah swt sent you to us, alhamdulillah. Ughh... how fast the time flies!